Eliminate passive voice...with zombies.

Zombies are always butting in where they aren't welcome. Now they are working their way into the unassuming passive sentence.

Here's a simple test to help student writers determine if they are using the passive voice. (I learned this one on Pinterest.)

If you can add "by zombies" at the end of your sentence, it's passive.

The cookies were eaten as quickly as they were cooked...by zombies!

A school bus was driven to the edge of the precipice...by zombies!

The child was read a bedtime story...BY ZOMBIES!

Only you can prevent a zombie prose invasion. Unless there's a calculated purpose for using a passive sentence, make it active. And don't look back!

The Writing Process and Projectile Vomiting

Hi there.  You probably know all about projectile vomiting at this point in your life.  If not, YouTube will help you visualize that concept.

Don't you just get all cranky when you give children a writing activity to complete, and some of those whipper snappers think that their ideas flow from their brain to their hand with the speed of an involuntary airborne stream of baby formula?  Makes me want to give those kids thick mittens and nubby crayons to slow down the process.

In all fairness, I sanction the "projectile vomiting approach" to brainstorming or short bursts of timed writings.  It has its place in the writing process, but turning in such impromptu musings for a final product is, how can I put this, nauseating.

Sometimes I ask my students to pretend that their favorite authors are in the room responding to the same prompt.  "Trust me," I say.  "Imaginary Stephen King is still drafting.  He's not even on his final."

I'm not a big fan of quotations.  They make my eyes roll with their pat simplicity in explaining complex matters...unless...they are just so true.  I'm sure I've mentioned this one before, but it bears repeating.   It also bears being stenciled on the wall of every language arts classroom.

“A writer is someone for whom writing is more difficult 

than it is for other people.” Thomas Mann

Ain't that the truth?  We didn't go to college to teach Knee-Jerk 101.  That class can teach itsownself!  

Craft your language, people.  If it took me longer to write the prompt on the board than it did for you to write your response, dig back in.

Amen?

On Your Marks

As an 8th grade writing teacher, my ultimate goal is to create independent writers by March.   First quarter focuses on narratives, ideas, written expression and apostrophe usage.   I feel like if I can get 8th graders to see writing as a craft by revising for specific nouns and strong verbs, there's a big payoff.   Craft.   That's what I'm talking about.  

I've written before about how I incorporate highlighters into writing instruction, but I'll mention it again because I think color-coding is one of the best approaches students use during editing and revising.   In short, we use pink to pause and green to go.   Pink means something's amiss; green means that something's sweet.   The more tools we can give our writers, the more independent they become.   And the more independent they become, the less you have to correct.   (Highlighters, colored pens, colored pencils---anything similar will work.)

Which brings me to the issue of marking up students' final drafts...   Use red, if you want to.   There's no harm in that.   You can also use highlighters to mark up a final draft. Highlighting something in pink...not just putting an editor's mark...puts the responsibility on the writer to determine the type of error.   We do need to consider the writing instruction given by that point in the year.   For example, I'm not going to write rants about usage and mechanics on children's papers in September.   That's counterproductive.  

I realize that students don't really have much of a choice when it comes to deciding if we are the type of people they'd like to share their thoughts, hopes, dreams, feelings and stories with, but we should be the type of readers that can offer both critique and praise.   If we shut our writers down early, how can we expect them to approach each of our lessons with a sense of optimism?   How can we encourage them to take stylistic risks or dig into some of their darkest corners for honest storytelling?

Okay.   I know that sounds a bit deep for third grade students, but I think you understand what I mean.

I would caution teachers against creating a penalty system to grade papers in which a product can fail on minutia.   The best example is spelling.   You will have some wonderful thinkers who have a diagnosed or undiagnosed processing hurdle when it comes to spelling.   What if their essays are perfect in every way, but their spelling is not?   Using a rubric will help avoid failing a child on one isolated skill.  And I don't get a kick out of marking up finals with negative comments at all.   My preference is that the skilled child writer will find all of his/ her errors before I do.

Am I saying to take it easy on your writers?   Nope.   Just give them challenges in which they have the real possibility of success.   Don't get caught up in carrying on about which skills they should have mastered in earlier grades.   It doesn't matter.   That's for your administration to ponder.   Teach the students in front of you what you want them to know now.  

Also, if you are a true crafter of language, you can identify something successful in just about any paper.   Voice, written expression, word choice, imagery, sequencing, believable dialogue, ideas, sentence fluency...you can find it.  

If you are still thinking that you need help on giving constructive feedback, here are 100 trait-specific comments!

Highlights

For those of you joining us from another state or another country, Virginia's 8th graders take two state assessments in language arts.   We administer the writing test in early March.   Students must pass a multiple choice portion that focuses most heavily on editing, but includes other parts of the writing process.   They must also write a short paper that is evaluated in three domains: composing, written expression and usage/mechanics.   It's the essay portion that I want to talk with you about today.

A great tool that Virginia's Department of Education made available to teachers and students is the NCS Mentor Program.   It's a collection of scored student essays that were written for the writing assessment.   You are able to show students what passing and failing papers look like.   Essays have been scored in each of the three domains, so if you are giving a lesson on written expression, you can zero in on papers that illuminate those techniques well.  

My favorite part of the NCS Mentor is the color-coded overlay feature.   If you choose that option in viewing a paper, you get to see a student's essay evaluated with annotations that are linked to a color.  

• Red = Central Idea
• Green= Elaboration
• Blue= Unity
• Purple= Organization

To see this free program for yourself, visit http://perspective.pearsonaccess.com/perspective/appmanager/va/educator

I wanted to translate the color coding idea into something manageable for my writing classroom.   Two of the materials that I require for class are pink and green highlighters.   I decided to equate pink with "pause" and green with "go."  

Here's what I know about 8th grade writers.   Many students don't really know when or how they got it right or wrong when it comes to writing.   Often, they don't have the right vocabulary to pinpoint what works and doesn't work in their essay.   It's like looking at a great piece of art when you don't have the language to evaluate it.   Your gut tells you it's great, but what techniques is the artist using to please your eye and move your heart?   In addition to giving students the reasons why part of a piece does not work, we need to give them the language to explain why other parts do.   For example, "You are right to organize your story chronologically, but your word choice is flat and the lack of elaboration does not let the reader visualize what is happening."   This book can help you comment on student work http://amzn.com/0439796024.

Where do the highlighters come in?   When students are revising, I ask them to identify their best parts in green and the parts that need help in pink.   Sometimes when I am evaluating a paper, I use the highlighters as well.  

The highlighting task can have a smaller scope.   For instance, if you are teaching students the beauty of word choice, ask them to highlight their vivid language in green before turning their paper in to you.   If they are unable to make any highlights, they have already discovered that they do not have mastery of the skill.   They should revise before turning the paper in to you.   It's so important for writers to critique their own work.   Every now and then we do some peer editing, but that's not a realistic scenario, is it?   And peer revising is just too much to ask.   Really.   Writing is work.   Writing is craft.   Expect to sweat a little.

Highlighters, colored pencils, pens, crayons...it doesn't really matter what students use.  

Also, if you administer the VA writing SOL, check the directions.   This year students were allowed one colored pencil to use for editing and revising their draft...not on the final though.   It looks like the DOE caught on to the good idea they shared with teachers through the NCS Mentor.   And guess what?   Students used those pencils.   What's better than giving students techniques that they can carry with them throughout their writing lives?

For an in-depth look at the new curriculum framework for 8th grade writing, look for pages 73-79 after you click "6-8" at http://www.doe.virginia.gov/testing/sol/standards_docs/english/review.shtml